effortlessly perfect











{November 17, 2012}   Responsibility & such

Why am I always the responsible one? The one who thinks of others, pays all of her bills on time, never forgets a birthday, and analyzes every decision to make sure it logical, responsible and mature. I don’t start laundry when someone is in the shower. I balance my checkbook a couple times a week. I start my Christmas shopping in October to make sure I fine the perfect presents for my loved ones. I get the oil changed in my car at the exact moment it tells me too. And I never go into an express lane with more items than I’m supposed to have.

Obviously I’m a rule follower and do my best to be a people pleaser too. To be honest though, the whole thing makes me sad. You see, I never really had much of a childhood. I was forced to be grown up, responsible and unemotional at a very young age. I was taught that emotions or needs were selfish, so I worked hard at not having any. I got pretty good at it and really didn’t know any different at the time.

But, lets just say that now I’m realizing just how fucked up I am because of it. Gotta go…. More on this later.

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